Wednesday

In my mind, I refer to it as Wednesday. We have a Wednesday every week, but the one I'm referring to was to be different. It was to be life-shifting, to a degree. Yeah, that sounds dramatic, but it really was, for two people. Here's the lowdown.

I exist, in my heart and soul, as Shannyn. It's the best representation of me. But no one in real life sees me the same way. I also exist online, to a community of people who are similar to me in one way or another. As I try to figure out how to move the dial forward on bringing my best self to light, that's my outlet. Online. That might seem lame, but if you are experiencing life at all similar to me, you know it's not.

One such person who doesn't think it's lame is my bestest girlfriend, Tanya. I could, and probably will, write a post about that wonderful relationship at some point. Suffice it to say we communicate. A lot. Just about any subject. I think our favorite is fashion. DUH. Anyway, it came to be that a "window" opened up for her. I have to say she was, and is, very gracious, to have invited me to share part of her window.

Windows are those periods of time where girls like us get a chance to bring the desired self forward. Often brief, often rushed, but appreciated and enjoyed. Tanya came upon a window that was DAYS long. She had a need to move the ball downfield, Of course, I do also. My windows are less frequent and often fraught with peril. Over the course of several weeks, we decided there was strength in numbers, we would support each other, and we were going to GET OUT. For the first real time, better approximating the selves we desire to be.

At this point, I'm going to cheat and refer you to Tanya's blog post about how things went down, or sideways, or whatever. Read her post HERE. Come back when you're finished.

So the time leading up to "Wednesday" was spent talking about the outing, and it was so much fun. Never unnder-estimate having things to look forward to! As we got within a week, that's when, to me, it became this bigger thing, "Wednesday". Obviously I'm referring to it as such now, looking back a couple of weeks after the fact. That's how it will likely remain until it's replaced by the next move forward. Maybe on a Wednesday, maybe not. I'll shut up about the darn day of the week now.

My point in writing my thoughts on all this is to add, perhaps, a little something that someone else can use in planning their own time out. Perhaps you think I'm making it more than it had to be. Maybe I am, maybe I was, and maybe fear helped scuttle part of it. I like to think that in the end we acted prudently, learned alot, and still managed to have a good time.

Having a good time. That might be the key thing that tipped the scales to where we ditched the idea of makeovers and wardrobe changes. It became apparent, to both of us separately, that we would be forcing something that would turn out to not be the enjoyment we wanted. How do you have a second outing, and a third, if you know the first was so stressful? Maybe it's a cop-out and we should've pushed through. I've pondered that for two weeks, and I don't feel any different now than I did when we changed plans. We did the right thing, for us, at the time. We are unscarred, I think, and are ready to meet the next window when it comes along.

Back to the learning. Tanya detailed a lot of it. Other things I learned along the way, from talking to others and trying to cover the bases, were:

1. SAFETY. Know your area before you go. Try to anticipate any surprises. The one detail I remember most was the idea of, when you are walking to your car, have your key in your hand. You don't want to try to fish it out of a purse you've never used before in a major hurry if danger is approaching.
2. REALIZE YOUR GENDER. If you are out as a girl, best to stay that way. There are differences. Keep the testosterone at bay in order to fully experience the time as you want to. This also goes to how to be prepared to defend yourself should the need arise.
3. BLEND IN. This seems very simple, but I tell you that until it's familiar, you have to really check yourself on how you will look. For me it came down to, dress as women do. Don't look too tall (FLATS!). Think about posture. How will you respond if someone looks at you, or if you have to speak? Can you get your makeup right (with a makeover, yes you can)? This part was actually the most fun, even though it consumed a lot of time.
4. Spend your rime as you want, but DON'T TRY TO OVERDO IT. I think the plan we had was good, in that it was essentially three different activities, in an area known to one of us, and would move the bar forward. Since we did everything we set out to do, other than the makeover, and not in girl mode outwardly, I can see that the plan was solid.
5. No all caps on this one. I'm not entirely sure how to phrase it, but essentially, realize that your male instincts won't help you in many cases. How does a woman deal with the heat? There are things that don't occur to us (YET), and so they must be thought of ahead of time. I tend to not use umbrellas. But we get heavy rains for a short period of time everyday. So an umbrella would be needed, just in case. Prepare for as many "just in cases" as you can.

So what could we have done differently? Real life and logistics got in the way. For me, no matter how much I had planned the outfit and look, I ran out of time. I wanted to give myself a self-pedicure, which ended up causing a big issue at home (a post for another day). I needed my brows done, and somehow I didn't find the right time/place to do that. I didn't have the luxury of getting ready at home, and I think was a bit spooked by the idea of changing at Ulta, even though the girl was so cool about it on the phone. And lastly, the weather was a real factor. It gets soooooooo hot and humid in Georgia. The heat, plus the stress of the other areas of my appearance, might well have made me end up looking really bad. And not blending in. And not having fun. Which would have defeated the purpose.

So to wrap it up, I'd say that I cannot wait until the next oppurtunity comes along. I appease myself with subtle changes in appearance in the meantime. And I get to plan more. I know I need more time. I know I have to ensure that cost-wise I'm better prepared. And maybe even eliminate some of the stealth portions of it all. Because hiding and stressing isn't the way to go. Looking great and feeling great and bringing my best self out to the world is what I want. And I shall have it!