Walk A Mile In Her Heels - Tawni
In my online circles, we all enjoy interacting with the gal you are about to meet (or just learn more about, if you already know her). I have to give credit to others for the suggestion, despite the fact she is far from being someone anyone would overlook. She has since taken a keen interest in sharing some of her story with me, and by extension, you. I learned a lot about a wonderful person.
Without further ado, let's take a mile in her heels with Tawni.
(P.S. - Please be sure to read all the way to the end. I am proud Tawni has allowed me to share a sample of her incredible artwork. She's very talented!)
Previously in the "Walk A Mile In Her Heels" series: Suzi Chrissy Erica
ShannynComesAlive: As with most folks, you've had a long and winding road that has lead you to become who you are now. What, if anything, did you experience while growing up that started you on your path?
Tawni: I was born in West Texas, Big Spring to be exact. The armpit of Texas. Because of my parents' divorce, I shuffled around from west Texas to east Texas in my early years. From my earliest memories, I was always attracted to girl's clothing, in particular, their underwear. I recall wishing I could have my parents buy me a ballerina tutu from the Sears and Roebuck catalog, but quickly found out that..."little boys don't want those things". So I toed the party line and went with what I was told, even if it felt so wrong to me.
By the time I settled in with my stepmom and dad in Dallas, I was not only a confused teen but I was also slowly discovering that I don't actually fit in with the rest of my peers...something was off-kilter. I started to discover myself through innocent early male development and sexual experimentation. I was likely being molded, like a piece of clay, at that point. I knew I was attracted to females, thus solidifying my heterosexuality...but damn if there wasn't something to be had with a same-sex person.
SCA: If you were to describe yourself in terms of your femininity, how would that be? Labels aren't perfect, I find, but occasionally they can give a general sense of a person.
Tawni: Hmmm. As a label...I'm not sure there is a one-size-fits-all for me. Today, even with my so-called "evolution", I'm not sure I fit any one label. I let my doctor know that I am a non-op gender-dysphoric person. I feel it's much more than a sexual gratification thing or a fetish....it's an expression of a part of me. I still maintain a male side to present to society at large since so much of life has to be lived under that so-called "glass ceiling". That said, I live daily as a female to a large degree. I embrace my femininity and choose it to be the bigger part of my essence. Does that make me a crossdresser? A transvestite? Where does the institution of "labels" become a non-issue?
SCA: Would you present a male side at all if there was no societal pressure? How does living in both genders work for you, specifically?
Tawni: I present as either gender in public depending mostly on which one of me is most required to be present. (My male side) Joe takes care of all important business matters while Tawni enjoys shopping, dining, and generally non-important matters. I would say yes, if no societal pressure existed I would still present my male side occasionally, as sometimes I don't want to put forth the effort of dolling up for an errand that takes much less time to accomplish than the time it takes to do my makeup. Chalk that up to pure laziness. In more recent terminology, I suppose "bi-gender" would be most applicable to me.
SCA: What was it that really kick-started the evolution into the Tawni we see today?
Tawni: On the surface, it would appear that Tawni was born by "accident", but I prefer to think it was pre-ordained. One evening, my second wife (life with my first wife was fairly vanilla), after 10 years of "straight" marriage and watching the movie "To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything" suggested that I would look good feminized and in makeup. She had discerned this on her own based on certain facial features and mannerisms I had. On a lark, I said "why not?" and thus Tawni was born. In short, she started me into crossdressing simply to spice up our private bedroom.
She then dressed me, taught me makeup, and how to walk in high heels. It all took hold, took root and became something I could not explain but just knew it was right. Then as I became more enamored and proficient at applying makeup and having the blessed opportunity to financially afford another wardrobe/persona, I pursued a quest to discover the girl that laid so dormant inside of me for so long. I learned a lot from her and I still honor the lessons she taught me even though we are not together.
SCA: In the aftermath of your second marriage, you found a new relationship that seems to be among the closest you've had to-date. Tell us a little about that.
Tawni: As the relationship with my second wife evolved and I discovered who Tawni was and what she wanted in life, I had opportunities to explore my bisexual side, with her approval. That was the beginning of the end for the marriage since I enjoyed being Tawni and there was no turning back. As it turned out, though the marriage ended, we remained the closest of friends with absolutely no hostilities. During all of this, due to a lack of intimacies with my wife, and a renewed sexual drive as a female, I went online looking for a friend with benefits.
I was so very fortunate to be found by a genetic girl looking for someone just like me. Barb, who was and is my Goddess, met me and we fell in love. For eight years I had someone who loved and adored Tawni more than Joe, while still being married. Barb brought out all of the best of me...as Tawni and as Joe, as the person I was always meant to be, a mix of the two persons. I was divorced from my wife in 2012 and retired to Arizona with Barb in 2014. We had four glorious years together down here before God suddenly needed her up at His side.
I have no regrets or embarrassments. I thank my second wife for giving birth to me...and I thank my Goddess Barb for bringing all of me out. I thank God for giving me the wisdom to know how to keep my shit together. LOL
SCA: What is your presentation to the world like today, particularly on the Tawni side? Is it a combination of male and female elements, like I do at this stage, or more feminine- or male-leaning depending on what you are doing?
Tawni: I dress in a female fashion every single day, some days with makeup, some days without. As Joe, it might not be noticeable, but it's always there. Since I live alone in a rural area, I can easily do this. Around the house, I appear female almost every day, be it in a blouse, a skirt, short shorts, leggings or the occasional full dress and heels. I do my housework and yard work dressed femme accordingly, depending on the weather and temps. I generally apply a lightly made-up face, mostly focused on my eyes. Summer temps often are murder on makeup, so less is worn while working outside.
As Tawni, I always apply a full face when appearing in public. I embrace totally the days and times I fully become her. It exemplifies the way I feel about who I am. So in that sense, this is ME, and I am very happy with the ME today.
SCA: When you appear in public in a feminine style, how are you received? Has that changed over the years for you?
Tawni: In public, I have never had any negative reactions or conflicts. I am very conscious of dressing appropriately for whatever situation I will be in. I have classy and flashy clothes for nightclubbing, and mainstream, every-day (but still cute) clothes for grocery or clothes shopping. Initially, in my early stage, I dressed much younger than my age. I was new to it all and that made me feel younger. I came to see that also made me stand out more than needed, so I became more cognizant of dressing age-appropriate.
SCA: Do you have any stories of where you, as Tawni, had to learn how to go about navigating the public world that might benefit someone new to that phase?
Tawni: I'm not sure I have anything to advise on this except when I first started going out in public, it was to attend organized meetings for transgendered people. Seeing and getting to know others like myself provided comfort in knowing that I could gain the self-confidence to venture into mainstream activities.
SCA: Do you have any general philosophies or quotes that you enjoy and are special to you as Tawni?
Tawni: As a general philosophy about myself, which I think applies to both genders, is simply, "Know yourself, be yourself, be special". It may sound silly but it works for me. [EDITOR'S NOTE: That's not silly at all.]
SCA: I love to draw parallels and find inspiration through music. Is there any favorite song you like that really speaks to you in terms of the evolution of YOU as a person throughout your life?
Tawni: Wow! A favorite song? That would be difficult to say as I enjoy a wide variety of musical genres...and each one has many songs I've identified with throughout the years. From country to rock, from reggae to Bach...I think there is always something that can be gained and connected to within. [EDITOR'S NOTE: I whined and so Tawni has indulged me with this classic. Definitely a winner! Thanks, Tawni!]
Without further ado, let's take a mile in her heels with Tawni.
(P.S. - Please be sure to read all the way to the end. I am proud Tawni has allowed me to share a sample of her incredible artwork. She's very talented!)
Previously in the "Walk A Mile In Her Heels" series: Suzi Chrissy Erica
ShannynComesAlive: As with most folks, you've had a long and winding road that has lead you to become who you are now. What, if anything, did you experience while growing up that started you on your path?
Tawni: I was born in West Texas, Big Spring to be exact. The armpit of Texas. Because of my parents' divorce, I shuffled around from west Texas to east Texas in my early years. From my earliest memories, I was always attracted to girl's clothing, in particular, their underwear. I recall wishing I could have my parents buy me a ballerina tutu from the Sears and Roebuck catalog, but quickly found out that..."little boys don't want those things". So I toed the party line and went with what I was told, even if it felt so wrong to me.
By the time I settled in with my stepmom and dad in Dallas, I was not only a confused teen but I was also slowly discovering that I don't actually fit in with the rest of my peers...something was off-kilter. I started to discover myself through innocent early male development and sexual experimentation. I was likely being molded, like a piece of clay, at that point. I knew I was attracted to females, thus solidifying my heterosexuality...but damn if there wasn't something to be had with a same-sex person.
SCA: If you were to describe yourself in terms of your femininity, how would that be? Labels aren't perfect, I find, but occasionally they can give a general sense of a person.
Tawni: Hmmm. As a label...I'm not sure there is a one-size-fits-all for me. Today, even with my so-called "evolution", I'm not sure I fit any one label. I let my doctor know that I am a non-op gender-dysphoric person. I feel it's much more than a sexual gratification thing or a fetish....it's an expression of a part of me. I still maintain a male side to present to society at large since so much of life has to be lived under that so-called "glass ceiling". That said, I live daily as a female to a large degree. I embrace my femininity and choose it to be the bigger part of my essence. Does that make me a crossdresser? A transvestite? Where does the institution of "labels" become a non-issue?
SCA: Would you present a male side at all if there was no societal pressure? How does living in both genders work for you, specifically?
Tawni: I present as either gender in public depending mostly on which one of me is most required to be present. (My male side) Joe takes care of all important business matters while Tawni enjoys shopping, dining, and generally non-important matters. I would say yes, if no societal pressure existed I would still present my male side occasionally, as sometimes I don't want to put forth the effort of dolling up for an errand that takes much less time to accomplish than the time it takes to do my makeup. Chalk that up to pure laziness. In more recent terminology, I suppose "bi-gender" would be most applicable to me.
SCA: What was it that really kick-started the evolution into the Tawni we see today?
Tawni: On the surface, it would appear that Tawni was born by "accident", but I prefer to think it was pre-ordained. One evening, my second wife (life with my first wife was fairly vanilla), after 10 years of "straight" marriage and watching the movie "To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything" suggested that I would look good feminized and in makeup. She had discerned this on her own based on certain facial features and mannerisms I had. On a lark, I said "why not?" and thus Tawni was born. In short, she started me into crossdressing simply to spice up our private bedroom.
She then dressed me, taught me makeup, and how to walk in high heels. It all took hold, took root and became something I could not explain but just knew it was right. Then as I became more enamored and proficient at applying makeup and having the blessed opportunity to financially afford another wardrobe/persona, I pursued a quest to discover the girl that laid so dormant inside of me for so long. I learned a lot from her and I still honor the lessons she taught me even though we are not together.
SCA: In the aftermath of your second marriage, you found a new relationship that seems to be among the closest you've had to-date. Tell us a little about that.
Tawni: As the relationship with my second wife evolved and I discovered who Tawni was and what she wanted in life, I had opportunities to explore my bisexual side, with her approval. That was the beginning of the end for the marriage since I enjoyed being Tawni and there was no turning back. As it turned out, though the marriage ended, we remained the closest of friends with absolutely no hostilities. During all of this, due to a lack of intimacies with my wife, and a renewed sexual drive as a female, I went online looking for a friend with benefits.
I was so very fortunate to be found by a genetic girl looking for someone just like me. Barb, who was and is my Goddess, met me and we fell in love. For eight years I had someone who loved and adored Tawni more than Joe, while still being married. Barb brought out all of the best of me...as Tawni and as Joe, as the person I was always meant to be, a mix of the two persons. I was divorced from my wife in 2012 and retired to Arizona with Barb in 2014. We had four glorious years together down here before God suddenly needed her up at His side.
I have no regrets or embarrassments. I thank my second wife for giving birth to me...and I thank my Goddess Barb for bringing all of me out. I thank God for giving me the wisdom to know how to keep my shit together. LOL
SCA: What is your presentation to the world like today, particularly on the Tawni side? Is it a combination of male and female elements, like I do at this stage, or more feminine- or male-leaning depending on what you are doing?
Tawni: I dress in a female fashion every single day, some days with makeup, some days without. As Joe, it might not be noticeable, but it's always there. Since I live alone in a rural area, I can easily do this. Around the house, I appear female almost every day, be it in a blouse, a skirt, short shorts, leggings or the occasional full dress and heels. I do my housework and yard work dressed femme accordingly, depending on the weather and temps. I generally apply a lightly made-up face, mostly focused on my eyes. Summer temps often are murder on makeup, so less is worn while working outside.
As Tawni, I always apply a full face when appearing in public. I embrace totally the days and times I fully become her. It exemplifies the way I feel about who I am. So in that sense, this is ME, and I am very happy with the ME today.
SCA: When you appear in public in a feminine style, how are you received? Has that changed over the years for you?
Tawni: In public, I have never had any negative reactions or conflicts. I am very conscious of dressing appropriately for whatever situation I will be in. I have classy and flashy clothes for nightclubbing, and mainstream, every-day (but still cute) clothes for grocery or clothes shopping. Initially, in my early stage, I dressed much younger than my age. I was new to it all and that made me feel younger. I came to see that also made me stand out more than needed, so I became more cognizant of dressing age-appropriate.
SCA: Do you have any stories of where you, as Tawni, had to learn how to go about navigating the public world that might benefit someone new to that phase?
Tawni: I'm not sure I have anything to advise on this except when I first started going out in public, it was to attend organized meetings for transgendered people. Seeing and getting to know others like myself provided comfort in knowing that I could gain the self-confidence to venture into mainstream activities.
SCA: Do you have any general philosophies or quotes that you enjoy and are special to you as Tawni?
Tawni: As a general philosophy about myself, which I think applies to both genders, is simply, "Know yourself, be yourself, be special". It may sound silly but it works for me. [EDITOR'S NOTE: That's not silly at all.]
SCA: I love to draw parallels and find inspiration through music. Is there any favorite song you like that really speaks to you in terms of the evolution of YOU as a person throughout your life?
Tawni: Wow! A favorite song? That would be difficult to say as I enjoy a wide variety of musical genres...and each one has many songs I've identified with throughout the years. From country to rock, from reggae to Bach...I think there is always something that can be gained and connected to within. [EDITOR'S NOTE: I whined and so Tawni has indulged me with this classic. Definitely a winner! Thanks, Tawni!]
And finally, as promised, check out this great example of Tawni's artwork. She is very talented. Look at the detail!
Wonderful!!!
ReplyDeleteGreat interview! :)
ReplyDeleteAs someone blessed enough to know both of you, this is fantastic!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteAnother fabulous interview, my compliments to SCA & tawni.
ReplyDelete