Goings-On Keep Going On

Take 2. I wrote this whole blog and then managed to erase it with some fat fingers and auto-save combo. Not to be deterred, only delayed!

Where was I? Oh, yeah, I had started off by saying it's been a while since I wrote. Did you notice? I did and was frankly trying to find some angle I hadn't used before. I do fear being repetitive (which I realize I have written before and therefore fulfilled THAT prophecy all by myself) so it's taken a bit.

Forgive me for lacking brilliance this time as well. After all, I lost the brilliant writing somewhere around 3 PM. Now you get the best I can muster after I worked all day. 

I guess the theme is just that we all keep going. As I write this, the world still seems in infinite turmoil, what with the pandemic, the US election, and all manner of nastiness about. But we keep going. Lately, I have somehow found a way to just go with the flow a bit more and not worry about all the STUFF I still have on my plate. I think like literal dishes you eat from, they won't ever all be clean at the same time, will they? Maybe, but I'm not that on top of the dishes. Or the laundry. I still eat and still get dressed, so the cycle keeps going on and on. Is that why most plates are round?

I've kinda gotten on a kick to somehow find a way to stop my procrastinating and DO more of the things I want and need, and less of the destructive things. Like the internet and overthinking. I watched The Social Dilemma on Netflix yesterday and while I take it with a grain of salt, I really do feel like much of what they say could be true. How much information out there is false? How do we know for sure? How much are we being manipulated? When I see a Wendy's ad in the evening and wind up eating a Breakfast Baconator the next morning, is it just because they are delicious (Answer: OMG yes) or because I'm programmed to need it?

It's not an easy question, or habit to break, being online. I am deeply aware of the need for human connection and to do that, tearing away from the computer is a must. Then COVID sneaks in and ups that ante, doesn't it? Thank God I'm an introvert and designed to withstand pandemic lockdowns (such as they are, or aren't, where I live). Anyway, I want to try to get used to being out there more. I'm pretty patient I think. In the meantime, I still can wean myself off the internet a bit, hopefully.

Today, my guy side Facebook and Twitter accounts went dormant. Friends/followers were invited to come to see me on this side, the side I prefer, and so that's one bit of cut down already. I am really tired of operating multiples of those apps. I am very happy to say that as of now, almost 20 of my friends/family have made friend requests for ole Shannyn here, and that makes a girl feel mighty good.

Otherwise, it's now only 10 days to the orchiectomy, and that's been a focus, being prepared for the day and the days following. I feel confident about all that and having that as the next goal has helped push some of the other stuff to the side for the time being. I'm hoping to put some work into replacing more negative thoughts with positive ones, through counseling and on my own. I bought "The Self Love Workbook" workbook on the suggestion of my counselor Meredith and as long as I stop procrastinating and do the work, I am optimistic that can help my mood between the ears some more.

Not much else to say right now. Thanks for reading. I'll keep you posted on more "goings-on" soon. Take care!