I'm a zigger, you're a zigger....
I have a secret. It's horrible. It's so bad that it can bring down empires, cause tsunamis and otherwise cause monumental destruction. HEAVY.
Wanna know my secret?
I, Shannyn...I can't believe I'm about to say this...ok, getting my courage up. Lump in my throat.
I, Shannyn, like to...wear clothes.
Please pause with me and take a moment to let that sink in, ok? It's very important to read those words carefully. It wasn't easy for me to say, especially not on a blog the whole world can see.
If your eyes are burning, I do apologize. This needed to be done. Now, I realize I could have taken another path (towards nakedness?), but really I couldn't. The path chose me. I mean, when you were a newborn baby, did you choose to wear clothes, or something different? You zigged too, most likely. All of you. You really ought to be ashamed of yourselves.
What on this earth could possibly drive a person towards making such a decision, when it is within their ability to resist? Even if coerced, unless you are held captive or there is a gun to your head, you could at least choose another way when alone, right?
Truth is, there are times I have not worn clothes. Many times, probably, since I first started wearing clothes as a preteen. Yes, right around the time I hit puberty, I zigged when I could have zagged. But I swear I was pushed right into the zigging. I know that, as you read this right now, are nodding, thinking or saying out loud, "I'm a zigger, too!".
I am here to say that I believe zigging is OK. It's alright. You don't have to zag. Zigging might even be futile to resist for you, too. As long as you zag some of the time. You must zag sometimes, because if you don't...well, bad things will happen. Something about prematurecurling of the spine. Look it up.
Wait...what's that you say, you thought zagging was what you were doing when wearing clothes. You were under the impression zigging in public was flat-out wrong? I have it BACKWARDS??? Says you! I beg to differ.
Society zigs, my confused friend. It's like left and right. One is good and one is evil. And you know which one is which, don't even try to convince me you don't.
I don't think I can continue this line of thought. I'm emotionally spent now. I need credit for being bold enough to admit my zigging. And then a nap.
Before I end, I do want you to know that even if I have confused terms, gotten them backward (I HAVE NOT), I feel better about what I've done. Except for maybe not clearly identifying what zagging is. Zagging is not being naked when one might be clothed. I had a ? after putting nakedness in parentheses earlier.
Zigging and zagging are the same thing, people. Except one is for boys and one is for girls. Do you like your boy zigging and girl zagging, or girl zagging and boy zigging? I deliberately wrote this post this way, to thoroughly mess with your otherwise settled mind.
There's no in-between when it comes to zigging and zagging, not according to most people. Choose one ot the other, sure, but choose wisely. Otherwise you have a dirty secret, too. Think of the tsunamis. Don't be a tsunami-causer. Or be one. Maybe you like swimming for your life.
Take the poll: https://twitter.com/FordShannyn/status/1008128952760717312
Wanna know my secret?
I, Shannyn...I can't believe I'm about to say this...ok, getting my courage up. Lump in my throat.
I, Shannyn, like to...wear clothes.
Please pause with me and take a moment to let that sink in, ok? It's very important to read those words carefully. It wasn't easy for me to say, especially not on a blog the whole world can see.
If your eyes are burning, I do apologize. This needed to be done. Now, I realize I could have taken another path (towards nakedness?), but really I couldn't. The path chose me. I mean, when you were a newborn baby, did you choose to wear clothes, or something different? You zigged too, most likely. All of you. You really ought to be ashamed of yourselves.
What on this earth could possibly drive a person towards making such a decision, when it is within their ability to resist? Even if coerced, unless you are held captive or there is a gun to your head, you could at least choose another way when alone, right?
Truth is, there are times I have not worn clothes. Many times, probably, since I first started wearing clothes as a preteen. Yes, right around the time I hit puberty, I zigged when I could have zagged. But I swear I was pushed right into the zigging. I know that, as you read this right now, are nodding, thinking or saying out loud, "I'm a zigger, too!".
I am here to say that I believe zigging is OK. It's alright. You don't have to zag. Zigging might even be futile to resist for you, too. As long as you zag some of the time. You must zag sometimes, because if you don't...well, bad things will happen. Something about prematurecurling of the spine. Look it up.
Wait...what's that you say, you thought zagging was what you were doing when wearing clothes. You were under the impression zigging in public was flat-out wrong? I have it BACKWARDS??? Says you! I beg to differ.
Society zigs, my confused friend. It's like left and right. One is good and one is evil. And you know which one is which, don't even try to convince me you don't.
I don't think I can continue this line of thought. I'm emotionally spent now. I need credit for being bold enough to admit my zigging. And then a nap.
Before I end, I do want you to know that even if I have confused terms, gotten them backward (I HAVE NOT), I feel better about what I've done. Except for maybe not clearly identifying what zagging is. Zagging is not being naked when one might be clothed. I had a ? after putting nakedness in parentheses earlier.
Zigging and zagging are the same thing, people. Except one is for boys and one is for girls. Do you like your boy zigging and girl zagging, or girl zagging and boy zigging? I deliberately wrote this post this way, to thoroughly mess with your otherwise settled mind.
There's no in-between when it comes to zigging and zagging, not according to most people. Choose one ot the other, sure, but choose wisely. Otherwise you have a dirty secret, too. Think of the tsunamis. Don't be a tsunami-causer. Or be one. Maybe you like swimming for your life.
Take the poll: https://twitter.com/FordShannyn/status/1008128952760717312
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