I Got Sunshine

on a cloudy day.....

You know you want to hear that now. Here ya go.

The Temptations-I Got Sunshine - YouTube

So, I'm sitting there, on a doctor's examination table, having been weighed (UGH) and telling them the reason for my visit, waiting on whatever comes next. I don't know what comes next. I've never been here before. So, while waiting, I'm scrolling Twitter, and up comes the latest article written by Jenny Boylan, whom I've mentioned before. This is what I read while I waited on the next interaction that has changed my life:

What Peanuts Taught Me About Queer Identity - The New Yorker

I felt comforted and happy in reading this article. Peanuts is always a joy, and honestly, I hadn't thought about Pig Pen all that much, but I knew the whole Peppermint Patty situation was always a bit different. Kudos to Charles Schulz for having such a character, going way back. I wonder how many trans/queer people found some solace in identifying with her. All in all, a nice way to pass the time.

Now let me back up a little bit. I believe I mentioned previously that I had an appointment to see a doctor about HRT. If I didn't, that was a BIG miss in the blog. I could go back and see what I wrote or didn't, but whatever. If you didn't know...SURPRISE!

Anyway. The 2 weeks lead time I gave myself for the appointment was kinda long, but work has been crazy busy, so it wasn't too bad. I had to allow time for my counselor to write the letter I needed for treatment. I'm going to see her every other week, thus the two week period. 

The thing that struck me through the time I was waiting for appointment day was that I was very calm about it. Not a whole lot of doubt. My wife and I talked about our situation last week, and it was ok, but we are headed for the end. She doesn't yet know I've made this decision on HRT. When she mentioned how badly my growing hair triggers her, I briefly considered cutting it off and trying to take testosterone instead, to at least get the kids through school. But I just can't do those things. Other than some nervousness yesterday morning, I've been really calm about the appointment, despite the unknown.

My path, for anyone who reads this and maybe wants HRT too but was like me and has no idea how to go about it, was this: I wanted a medical professional to oversee whatever I choose to do, no matter how small. And right now, it's small. It might not go past this stage. I refuse to think very far down the road. And so, in seeking a medical doctor, I went through my counselor and found a practice that has a heavy emphasis on LGBT. If you see a doctor, at least this doctor, you need a referral for treatment. Otherwise, they will consult with you, but no treatment.

I was pretty impressed with the facility, especially inside. Very clean, the staff was friendly enough. It was like going to any other doctor, up until the whole, "and why are you here today?" question. That was asked of me by the very friendly NP whom I dealt with the rest of the time, and I went through my story, mostly high level, but detailed where needed. I didn't know what to expect, but the experience was great. In fact, my BP, which was a bit high when first taken, dropped considerably by the time I left. One word: NERVES!

I didn't know what they'd do that day. I didn't expect to leave with prescriptions, but I did. It was explained that the very low dosages of E and T-blocker were unlikely to affect anything else I have going on medically, and I was told I might not feel much different on this dose. So, taking blood beforehand wasn't necessary, though they did take it to get a baseline for when I return in two months. I had a tough time containing myself when it was explained that the idea is to get to the hormone levels of a CIS female. Pretty freaking cool!

The whole proces was pretty easy, once I got there. I'm still kinda shocked. I got the prescriptions filled, and as of 10:34 AM EST today, I'm taking the big E!

The icing on the cake for the day was the rare and wonderful opportunity to have lunch with my sis, Tanya. Sharing my joy in person was so wonderful. She told me that I kinda brightened her day, and that she hadn't seen me grin like that before. That was just the best. She's seen me through a lot of crap, as have others. I owe a lot to a bunch of people.

I'll end by saying, I'm looking forward to this journey. It's ON, as of today! If I can help anyone in any way about what I've done so far, please reach out. Getting started is SOOOO hard, but it can be done. All the best to everyone who reads this. Love yas!!!!